barely breathing
by bluuejeans
Summary: this is the same story as 'the strangest thing' but its from Edwards POV. Its the same with this one i still dont know what it's going to be about but i'll figure it out soon:P
1. your all i want

**Edward**

I just came home from being away from my family for what seems to be decades ago. The first thing that happens it that chief Swan calls our place asking if his daughter is here. I was shocked. I hadn't seen Bella since the day of the accident. I wonder how she is. And why is Charlie asking us if she's here? Doesn't he know?

Alice and Rose were really worried, Bella is practically family for them and for me and if this has never happened, Charlie and Renee always know where she is, what could have changed that? Maybe she-

Dad broke my thoughts, calling me by the nickname that I hate so much.

"Eddie, Charlie's really worried, he said that Bella just took off and he doesn't know where to look and everywhere he goes the cruiser will ruin his search. Can you go and look for her? I have to go to the hospital; they need me for the nightshift."

I just nodded and went outside to my car. I heard little footsteps behind me as I walked to the car. I turned around and saw Alice running after me in her PJs.

"Alice wh-"

"Edward, I'm coming with you, She's my best friend and if anyone knows her, its me so it will be a lot more easier if I come with you."

"Err.. No I don't think so young lady, you'll go back inside and I'll pretend that we never had this conversation because we both know that-" she cut me of again. Gosh why doesn't anyone let me finish talking today?

"Oh, come on Edward, I'm really worried, I just want to know if she's okay."

"Don't worry lil sis, I'll call you as soon as I find her, just go inside before you get sick or something." She didn't say anything, just nodded and went back inside. I stood there for a second and reassured that she wasn't planning on coming out or anything before I got in the car and drove away, to the place I for sure knew she would be.

---

When I was there I parked the car and saw her car instantly, I went to the bar and the security guy looked at me with weird eyes asking me for my ID, of course how could I be so stupid, they wouldn't let me in unless I was 21 or a hot chic. I sighed and walked slowly to my car. I was going to stay here until she came out. It wouldn't take long. She wasn't full of money and Bella isn't the alcoholic type, soon she'll be out puking her stomach out or just stumbling out.

I sat in my car for three minutes but for me it felt like ages. So I stepped out for some fresh air.

That's when I saw some creepy guy coming out of the exit door holding on someone that was on her way to fly through the door, but she pushed him aside and walked with slow drunk steps forward.

I ran up to her and saw her lain on the ground, I stood a few feet away from her not knowing what to do next. I saw how she slowly was trying to get up so I bent down and tried to help her sit up. She didn't notice me there at first but then she turned to me with her beautiful brown eyes and just glared. This was really uncomfterble, did she know? Alice and Rose told me that she didn't, then why is she staring at me like that?

Oh I had missed those eyes looking at me that way. For a second I lost track of everything. She just made everything disappear and it was just me and her in the world, or just there. The loud music from the club vanished and so did the hard and cold ground we were sitting on. Which brought me back to reality; I was helping her to get up.

"Here let me help you up" I said gently pulling her up. She didn't break the eye contact but after a few second the words I was afraid of came out.

"Who are you?"

Wow, I never thought this day would come but at least I know that everything is gone, I'm a complete stranger. I chuckled and blinked, but chose to keep my eyes closed so I could find a way to answer her question.

"I'm your father's best friends son and I'm here because Charlie got worried and called my dad to ask if you were at my house with my sisters or something but you weren't so my dad sent me out to find you." First task, accomplished.

But she didn't say anything; she just stared at me with blank eyes. But silence wasn't one of her specialties.

"How did you know I was here?"

How was I going to explain this one, "Well that's your truck isn't it?" I said pointing to the truck.

"Yes, it is, am I known by it now?!" She said almost screaming at me. That made me laugh, oh come on, is she serious? I just wanted to shake her by the shoulders trying to make her remember. But that wouldn't work would it?

"That was my car before I went to collage." I said, trying not to say too much.

"Carlisle has a son?" She said with the most shocking expression on her face. This must be the biggest joke ever.

"Yes, Bella, I'm his oldest son, my name is Edward." I sighed, I never thought I would explain my self to her this way. Never say never right?

"I don't believe you" She said as she started to walk away. I was going to go after her, after all I didn't drive all the way here just to help her get up from the ground. As I was thinking that my eyes rolled towards the ground where I saw her car keys lain there. So I just stood there waiting for her to realise what was missing.

I watched her as she was walking to the club just thinking how funny she looked right now, with a little dirt on her back from lain on the ground and her hair all messy, I'd miss that to. Something made her look back at me and as I thought this couldn't get better, her left foot stepped in front of her right foot and she just flew forward. Her reflexes wasn't playing along so well because she landed on her face. I can't believe that for a second I though this was funny, right now all I feel is worry, hoping that nothing serious happened to her. Her body must be really used to this kind of things.

I ran to her side asking her if she was okay, but she didn't even look at me as she tried to push me away with her hand (but didn't succeed so well) and throw up everything. I was glad that she was okay and that fall just made all the alcohol disappear but this whole moment just made me laugh, bringing back the good old days. I did as I was supposed to do, I raised my hand and held her hair back, it was the least I could do. No it was the only thing I could do while she was throwing up everything, even her dinner.

I searched my pocked for some paper or napkin; soon she would finish up what she was doing. When she cleared her mouth she looked up with tired eyes but this time not as blank. She wasn't looking like I was anyone; she was watching me with amazed eyes. We held eye contact for a while. It felt so right to watch her.

I could sit here and watch her all day but as I was going to raise my hand to her face I felt the little metal things pressed against my palm, bringing me to what was happening before all this. So instead I rose my and shook the keys. "Forgot something?" I asked, reminding her that she had dropped her keys.

She focused on the keys I was holding and then tried to reach them. The alcohol was still in there, or she was just really slow because when she reached for the keys, she did it in such slow-motion that I could easily pull away.

"I don't think you're able to drive miss. And I will not let you drive in this condition."

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you. Now please hand me my keys" she said with serious eyes when she tried to reach for the keys again.

I looked at her trying to find the right words, I knew she could drive now, not that it would be legal but she could manage it, but I didn't want to.

"Bella, I don't think it's good for you or the other drivers to be behind the wheel, you can cause a traffic accident and Charlie and my dad they both will kill me if I let you drive in this condition. Lets not get in to what Alice and Rose would do if anything happens to you.."

"And what about you?"

"What?" the word just slipped out of me, what did she mean?

"Well you mentioned Charlie, Carlisle, Alice and Roses reaction if something happened to me, but how would you feel about this?" she said as she leaned to on side and crossing her arms across her chest, trying to be earnest.

I just watched her, trying to be calm, not saying the wrong words that could freak her out in some ways, I was trying to make her remember with my glare but nothing crossed my mind. All I could see was Bella, the girl that.. _No focus Edward, you don't have much time soon she'll think that your some guy trying to get laid, just say something, anything, break the silence, tell her what's going on in here._

"Yeah, thought so. Fro your information, I am in a very good condition to drive right now, and you don't have to worry about me in an accident or what Charlie and Carlisle would do or think. I do not know who you are but I'm sure as hell that you are not Carlisle's son because I have not once heard of you in all these years that I've known them. So what ever you are trying to do here, it's not working, so if you excuse me I have to go home."

She stepped closer, not reaching for the keys, no she made an expression with her hand saying simply 'hand me my keys'. I didn't want to give her the keys, so my body did what I wanted to do from the begging, lifted my right foot from where it was and took a step closer to her, closing the distance between us. I looked her in the eyes, those sparkling brown eyes, bent down, my lips reaching hers, wanting to touch them once again but I couldn't, not now, not when she didn't know who I was. Our eyes connected when I saw that she was on her way down I noticed that she would fall any second, my hands automatically reaches out and grabbed her hips not letting her go anywhere.

I turned my hear so that my lips were inches away from her ears, so that I could easily give her my message. "I'm sorry if you hadn't heard of me before, I am Edward Cullen and as a Cullen I will not let you drive after drinking as much as you have. I do not care if you'll let me or not, but I am driving you home. Because I do not think I can live with my self if I let the girl who means so much to my family and my self get hurt. So if you just stop being so stubborn, we will walk to my car and I will drive you home, and tomorrow we will come back and pick up your truck" I was so sure of what I was saying, because I knew she couldn't resist us being so close, she never could, why would it change now.

She didn't response to what I jus said, she just went along, walking next to me, our eyes never letting go. My car was further away then her truck was but the walk we had to my car felt shorter.

We had a very quiet conversation with our eyes only. Somehow, I knew this would work out. Things will change, and hopefully I won't be a stranger anymore.

**AN;**

**Here you go, the first chapter from Edwards POV :]**

**I like writing from Edwards point of view, but I don't know if I'm any good at it, so if you could give me some feedback it would be great ;)**

**Hope you enjoyed it, I'll update the next chapters from his side soon, so when I've done the three chapters from Edwards POV I'll start the fourth chapter from Bellas POV, how does that sound?**

**mary**


	2. no way out

**Edward**

Bella had already fallen to sleep when I pulled up in Charlies driveway. I looked at her angelic face and just couldn't let my eyes off of her, it was so long ago I watched her being in harmony like she is now.

Charlie had herd me coming because he was standing by the door waiting for her to get out. I guess he didn't notice that she was a sleep. I stepped out to greet him.

"Edward, welcome home" he said with a tired voice.

"Hello Charlie, thank you" I didn't want to start a conversation and soon there would be an awkward silence so I said directly "Bella fell asleep on our way here, her truck is still by the club. Why don't you get her to her room and I'll take a cab and bring back the truck"

He didn't say anything for a while, but he then nodded and I started walking away. There wasn't anything more to say. We both knew it.

When I sat in the cab I called Carlisle and told him that I would be coming a little late. I asked to talk to Alice but Carlisle told me that she'd fallen asleep on the couch, but he was going to make sure that she knew that Bella is safe.

The car drive home was very quiet, there weren't any cars there on the road except for this slow truck I was driving, but the sound I made was a little bit too loud, even for me. I couldn't drive faster then 60km/h, that made the drive home extra long. After a while I got used to the sound of the engine and it didn't bother me much more. Now I just felt the silence and I missed the small noises Bella made when I drove her home a couple of hours ago. I remember how she used to talk in her sleep, calling peoples names or just say words that didn't make any sense. But this time on our way home, she didn't say anything nothing in English at least. It was just noises; maybe she was in pain in some way?

The thoughts of Bella made me forget about the time and I noticed that I was near her home so I 'slowed' down a bit so the sound of the engine could be less noisy, I didn't want to wake any neighbours, not hers anyways. They were the gossip-leaders of the town and if they noticed me in her truck ..

Charlie was waiting for me, this time the lights of the TV blinked through the windows. I knocked gently on the door and Charlie came to open it. We looked at each other for a moment and then I handed him the car keys.

"Thanks Edward. I'm sorry if we disturbed you in any way." He said, looking down on his bare feet.

"No problem Charlie, you know I'm the reason she knew about the place in the first place so.."

"Yes, but she doesn't-"

I cut him off before he would finish "No, and it's fine, really."

"Hey Edward, it's pretty late now and I think it would be better if you stayed the night"

I shook my head, we both knew that it was a bad idea, but Charlie insisted and when I looked at the clock it was 3 am so I accepted and walked into the house.

We watched TV for a few minutes before Charlie called the night and went to sleep. I couldn't close my eyes, because every time I did I got hunted by the things I didn't want to see, so I turned off the TV and just starred forward, to the empty living room where I have so much memory of. Every moment we used to spend here was amazing; I remember them like it was yesterday. And then it comes, when the good memory ends the awful ones start and so on.

I stood up several times, so that I could shake the terror in my head, I didn't want to remember those days, deep inside I wish that I could be as free as she is. But then I would be at the same place to, not remembering, having some black holes in my memory.

I started to get really tired now, I had been awake for almost 36hours and I really needed some sleep. I've had enough of these nightmares, that wouldn't go away when I woke up. My legs were going to give up on me as I was walking to the couch. When I finally rested my head against those small decoration pillows I could get some sleep. But it didn't stop there. No absolutely not, I was banned to never forget, It was meant for me to suffer, because it really was my fault.

It didn't take long before I heard Charlie come down the stairs. Poor guy, he probably didn't get much sleep either. First Renee's gone, second Bella shows up missing and get driven home by me and third I'm in here. He slowly took his steps down, I guess he thought I was asleep, as I should be but automatically I sat up when he came to see if I was up. He whispered a 'good morning' and went to the kitchen.

When he came back he asked if I wanted a cup of coffee and I just nodded, there wasn't much more to say. I'm really glad that Charlie isn't the chatty one so after he gave me my coffee he went up to check on Bella.

I heard them talking upstairs but I couldn't understand what they were talking about and I really hope that he didn't mention me being here, because since Bella doesn't know so much she would just get suspicious.

Charlie came down the stairs and waved me goodbye. I smiled back and he closed the door and left. Now I really wanted to get out of here, me being alone inhere with Bella, even though she doesn't know that I'm here, yet, isn't the best idea. But then again I can't just walk out; she'll here me starting my car or the door closing. Damn.

I heard her opening the door to her room. If I wanted to go this would be the best time, I figured she would go to the bathroom first.

But she didn't and I was in the hallway as she was on her way down the stairs. I looked around and damned this place for not having a backdoor. If she sees me here now, she'll think that I'm a crazy stalker or something. I stood still waiting for her next move. I can't believe I'm thinking at her like my enemy, or if I'm planning a prison break or something. But I couldn't do nothing, I just stood there leaning on the wall as she came down, she didn't see me at first, it gets a little dark in the hallway if you don't turn the light on, which she didn't.

But when bella came down and walked to the kitchen she didn't see me, but when she came out of the kitchen and for some reason walked to the livingroom(which she usually doesn't spend much time in unless someone makes her) she looked out through the window and that's when she saw my car. She didn't move for a second and I don't know why but I stopped breathing, trying to keep the silence. Then she turned around and her eyes coughed me and I thought she was going to scream or something but she just stood there looking at me. I didn't know what to do or say so I tried to gently soften my eyes and smile a little. Maybe that would help the case or it would just make it worse and she would thing I'm a serial killer or something like that.

But I couldn't care; I was a bit happy to see her again, and this time sober and not drunk.

"There's no need to be afraid Bella." I said with a quiet laugh,

"Wha- what- a..are you doing here?" she said as I notices that she had trouble finding the right words. I don't know what happened but her knees started shaking and then she fell backwards and didn't try to get up.

Oh shit !

**AN;**

**HERE YOU GO GUYS, THE SECOND CHAPTER FROM EDWARDS POV.**

**IM SORRY FOR UPDATING SO LATE, IM JUST A REAL LAZY ASS BUT I'LL TRY TO DO IT MORE OFTEN, NOW I GOT TO GO TO A PANCAKE-PARTY, DAMN IM LOOKING FORWARD TO IT ^^**

**mary**


	3. conversations

I didn't know what to do! She didn't do this before. I'm not familiar with this behaviour, even though I studied this kind of stuff in collage, I didn't know what to do, I got panicked, did I do anything? Was it my fault? Maybe I should pick her up? No if she 'wakes up' she'll think I did it to her or something. I thought for a while, still in panic but at the end I decided to get her to her bed. After all I couldn't just let her lay here?

She still didn't weight anything, still as thin as before, maybe thinner? Poor Bells. I really missed holding her like this, it was so long ago.. but I'll never forget it. It didn't take long to get up the stairs and as soon as I came up to her room I put her in her bed and covered her body with the sheet, didn't want her too freeze or anything. When I saw that she was breathing heavily I relaxed a bit and sat down on her computer chair and started looking around.

I laughed for my self, her room was still as messy at before, I'm glad that she's still the same person and haven't changed or become like jess or the other sluts in forks. She's still the same, but still not the same. I didn't know what to do now, she was safe in her bed and I was pretty tired but I couldn't sleep, my eyes were dry and I really needed some sleep but even if I laid in the most comfortable bed I would still not be able to get much sleep. I had to many things to think about. The past and the possibilities the future has to offer.

Bella was rolling around In her bed and made different noises, no words but noises as if she was in pain, I rose up to check on her but she look okay. I shook my head; nothing had changed except that now I was forgotten. Maybe it was my own fault? If I just had stayed.

I just wanted to avoid the questions I had in my head, it was getting so annoying, I looked around on her desk, looking for something to amuse myself with but didn't find anything. Just some cd's and homework's.

I sighed, maybe I was just suppose to sit her and wait for her to wake up and then I could drive home, this was so awful. I didn't want to be in this house, in this room with her! It just brings back horrible memories which I absolutely don't want to remember, they all hurt me as hell. I know it was my fault, everything was, but sitting here brought a lust and a part of me didn't want to just sit here and watch her sleep, no a part of me, the hart of mine wanted to lay next to her and play with her hair. Hold her and make sure she's safe for sure, that nothing could harm her, not when I'm here.

There wasn't much to do, she only new my by Edward, Rose and Alice's older brother, and probably now as a stalker or something, she didn't know that once, I was more than that! I wasn't 'Rose and Alice's older brother', they were known by 'Edward's baby sisters'. But as I said everything is still the same, except the place I held here. I'm forgotten, I'll always be forgotten by her. 'The past is just gone, she's forgotten it, and you should do the same Edward!' I toughed to my self and shoo my head as if I was having a conversation with my self and by shaking my head I was denying my on request, then I saw the book lying next to her bed. The book I forgot here, I couldn't come and pick it up, it was the only she had of me and I decided to leave it here, like a piece of me or something, but I guess she doesn't know that either.

I quietly got up and picked it up from the floor and sat down again. I opened it slowly as if the book held back a green monster. But it didn't it was just full of letters, letters that I have red so many times and now about to read once again. I loved this book. It has such a sweet meaning and I always enjoyed reading it, even though I knew what always happens, still I got shocked every once in a while and laughed when it was time to laugh.

I was so into the book, reading in excitement that I didn't notice Bella's movements, I thought she still was a sleep and was just rolling around. But the I noticed the noises had stopped instead she tried to talk without a voice. ''What the-''

"Hello sleepyhead. How are you feeling?" I said with a smile, trying to hold back the eagerness I had in me now that she was awake.

"Can I have some of water?" she said after a short moment in a whisper.

Wow, she's not freaked out, that's great. I was expecting a scream or a 'who the hell are you? Get out of my room' or something but no, she said none of it.

"Yes, of course, do you need something else?" I said glad now that she was kind of 'normal', and as I said my part of the conversation I tried not to focus on her eyes, this was not the time to get dazzled. She shook her head and I went down stairs.

I quickly filled the glass with some water and then hurried up, not wanting to miss one second of her awaking. I took the steps two at a time so I got up quicker. When I walked into the room I looked over to her and saw her once again, this time noticing her messy hair and her beautiful without any makeup. I really had missed this.

She drank the water and I took my position with the book. I opened it as if I didn't care that she was awake. She sat still and that made me nervous, I knew she had finished drinking the water. I pretended to read the book, trying to look 'busy' but couldn't help myself to peek over and see what she was doing when I met her gaze; I quickly turned back to the book I was 'reading'. God, how much I wanted this silence came to an end.

"Where did you get that?" she said as if hearing what I just thought. I looked up from the book and look at her. Hah, I knew it.

"I found it on you desk and just started reading it so I wouldn't fall asleep. I didn't remove anything. I hope it's okay?" I said, trying to hide what I was feeling inside and still hoping that she didn't get mad or irritated of me touching 'her' stuff. But she shook her head, as if she didn't have any words to say. But I decided not to comment anything. I'm still a stranger. Almost.

Then once again the silence took over everything else. She returned to lying on the bed, thinking I guess, and I to my book. I wish I knew what she was thinking about. Maybe I'm freaking her out by sitting here, and she doesn't know how to get rid of me? Or maybe she's afraid thinking that I've kidnapped her or something?

I couldn't handle anymore silence, I would soon go mad. I always hated when she dived into her thoughts and left me waiting for results. So I decided to get rid of the book and look at her, stare her in the eyes and try to get a reflection out of it, trying to understand what's going on in her head. Man I wish I could read minds! But she did nothing but surprise me, I was expecting some weird look but Bella just looked back at me with her big brown eyes. Holding my gaze and not letting it go. 'Thank you', I thought to my self.

"Are you done?" she said pointing with a lazy finger towards the book.

"No, but I don't want to read it all at once, besides your awake now, you can keep me company so I don't fall asleep." I said as my words just stumbled out my mouth probably sounding stupid.

"How did you get in here?" She said not even listening to what i just said. But I didn't mind much, I was gladder that she was so protective of her self and so on.

I couldn't help but smile as soon as i was thinking of what have had happened during these couple of hours. "Well how much do you remember from yesterday?

"Not much."

That was a quick and short answer, what am I a stranger now? Yes I am. I looked down, couldn't look into her eyes big brown eyes when i told her; "Well you got really drunk, so I came to get you and then on our way home you insisted on me staying and Charlie didn't mind since, well we haven't met each other in a long time so I spent the night on your lovely black couch." Well that wasn't all true but most of it was, and I really want to see her reaction over the 'insisting' part.

"I'm not buying it. I'm not much of an insisting person, so why don't you just tell me the truth." Bella said as she tried to look serious and sound as well but i couldn't see her as the serious one. In my eyes she would always be the-

I shook my head and hurried up with finding an answer for her question, but what I had in mind didn't work so well so I went with the truth; "I was just joking Bella, take it easy. I'm here because it got really late last night when I went back to the club to pick up you truck. And Charlie heard the truck as I was parking it so he came down and asked me if to stay the night. I didn't say 'no' because I was so tiered.."

She didn't say anything after that, she didn't ever look any pride for getting out the truth from me, but i saw her cheeks turning red, that's Bella over there, blushing as always, she nodded, showing that she did listen this time and believed it. Then she made that embarrassing moment perfect, because she looked up and met my eyes with her brown ones and gave me a beautiful smile, my favourite one also.

"Thanks." She said almost as a whisper.

'Anytime, you know I do anything for you' was the answer i wanted to tell her, those were the words that i wanted to say, but I didn't want to say anything else but that so I kept my mouth shut and nodded, loosing a part of me with the nod.

I was lost in my thoughts when I heard something, for a moment I didn't get what it was, but when I turned to see Bella I saw that her face was all blushed and that's when it clicked, the funny sound was her stomach calling for food. I couldn't help my self so I fell into laughter, this was so funny, and she's so stubborn that she's not going to say anything until her stomach does. Amazing. I guess my laughter eased up the tension in the room when she also started laughing, about what? The sound her belly made.

"We should eat something." She said when we were done with all the laughing, which didn't last long.

Bella gave me a smile that reached her eyes and I couldn't do anything else to do the exact same thing. She rose up from her bed and started walking out through the door and down the stairs. I didn't even have to think about what to do next, my body automatically rose up and followed her. I wonder what she was planning to make or if she even was planning to cook? I know Charlie isn't the cook in this house and Renée sure hasn't made anything for us so there isn't much food if I'm guessing right.

When we reached the kitchen I looked around as if it was my first or second time here when she gave me a questioning look, I didn't have to be a mind reader to know what she wanted to ask.

"Maybe we could order some pizza? To be honest I'm really not up for cooking and washing any dishes or anything like that. Are you up for it?"

She smiled when I answered her question with a question but she didn't follow the 'pattern' with another question, she just nodded and walked over to the phone calling for pizza.

---

"So, how come you decided to get drunk all by your self yesterday?" I asked after we were finished eating, because I had to break the silence that was.

"Ha, ha, as if you already don't know."

"Know what?"

"My mom leaving us?"

"Oh my god, I'm really sorry Bella."

"Nothing to be sorry for, I on the other hand should be sorry, for acting like such a jerk to you.." she started but I couldn't let her finish the sentence.

"No, no, don't even thing about it, it happens. I wouldn't exactly trust a guy coming up to me and telling me that he was my friends brother and that he now was going to get me home.."

"..and who turns out to be at your house in the morning, scaring the crap out of you" she said with a smile that I couldn't turn down.

"That is true. To be honest, I was on my way out. I didn't want you to think bad of me, that I was using you last night because you were drunk and so on. But I couldn't sneak out without you hearing the door close. And I guess that would scare you a little bit more if out of no where you heard a door gets closed."

I was babbling on right now, just glad that I was having a normal sober conversation with her. As always it felt great and I had surely missed this, just being around her.

"Your right, but I'm glad you didn't go." She interrupted me with her soft and gentle words. Inside I was dyeing of happiness.

"Is that so?" I managed to get out with a small chuckle; I figured out that if she didn't get a quick response to what she just said, she would jump into wrong conclusions.

"Yes because then, I wouldn't get the chance to get to know you." She looked down as she said that, trying to hide her blush, but I know very well when it comes and I myself am a professional on bringing it on her lovely cheeks. I smiled at her as if everything was as it was before, like nothing had changed and that's when I fell into my daydreaming and just kept staring at her big brown eyes. I couldn't find a word to say even though I really wanted to hear her talk and laugh but I couldn't think of anything to say, just sitting and watching her again is a miracle.. -

"Tell me, what made you come and visit Forks?"

Thank you my angel, you always know what to say don't you, I was glad that she broke the silence, but small talk isn't really my favourite thing to do but what else is there?

I chuckled, and just let the words come out as they whished, there was no thinking before answering now. This is all information that really shouldn't be known, anyways. "I finished my collage year early, so I decided to come and visit my family"

"That sounds great. Do you have any plans for after collage? I mean what are you going to do after the semester?"

"I don't know Bells, we'll see where the roads take me." I couldn't look at her when I answered her question, it was too hard. Before I applied to collage I wanted to be with her, I always did, and even when I got accepted I didn't want to go but I had to because but that time everything was messed up and if I had stayed everything would just get more crazy. Now that I finally was doe being away from her, finishing collage and returning home to do what I wanted to do at the first place, to be with her, I couldn't. I'm just a simple boy sitting in front of her.

These years that I was away from her was hell for me, I know people say it all the time 'it was living hell', but this time it really was. I couldn't find joy anywhere. Everyday and night I wished to be with her. The girls at collage tried hitting on me at first but after a couple of months when they saw how lifeless I was they all gave up, they stopped trying and for that I was happy, I never wanted anyone to replace her, not even for a moment. I doesn't matter that she has forgotten about me, I will not move on, I'll wait for her, maybe someday she remembers.

That brought a little bit of hope inside of me and that kind of brought me back to reality and I realised that I was still at her place. I met her eyes once again as if trying to see if anything had changed but nope, not yet at least.

I lifted my butt from the couch and turned to her, trying to smile; "I better be going now, Carlisle will think that something has happened if I don't get home soon." This was such an awful excuse and she might see that I was lying so I started walking toward the door, not giving her a chance to meet my eyes after my last sentence.

Bella followed me quietly, I was hoping for some resistance, that she would ask me to stay or call Carlisle from here but nothing. I put my jacked on and looked into her eyes once again. But this time I went for the whole face, I didn't know when I was going to see her again and I wanted to remember this perfection and hopefully not forgetting any of it.

"Please, be safe Bella.."

I said the sentence I had said to her a million times but now repeated it once again, because for some reason Bella didn't do so, but that's not up to her she's just naturally clumsy.

As I started to walk to my car I felt like seeing her again. I couldn't ask her right now, It was not the time or place to do so. The thought of that made me turn around and automatically smiled at her, something deep down inside told me to keep holding on, because something deep down inside of her was also holding on.

**AN;**

**Yes finally finished with the third chapter. Gosh it took time to write it. As before I didn't know what to write about but that wasn't the problem, everything fell into place like an unknown puzzle, it was a bit funny. **

**The reason this chapter is so late is because I was as always lazy, and since I had already written it in Bella's p.o.v and had read it like 5 times to check the grammar and spellings it felt a little bit boring, but now its finally finished and I'll soon start writing the fourth chapter on both of the stories. Tell me what you think. :]**

**And once again, sorry for the late update :P**

**mary**


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